Sunday, December 16, 2007

Attempted Suicide: What Bullshit!

Every day you hear about people, like actor Owen Wilson, who try and fail to kill themselves. Why are so many failing their suicide attempts? What is the difficulty? There are high buildings all around us. Surely you can get a gun. Every 12 year old has one. You don't know how many pills to take? Google it! In this information age, there is no excuse for failed self-offings.

Often you hear about an attempted suicide: "Maybe it was just a cry for help." You think so, brainiac? Let's hope it's a cry for help. Otherwise, these people aren't just clinically depressed, they're incompetent.

You know, some days I want to kill myself. But then I look in the mirror. And the thought comes: "What, and waste this hot ass?" It's hard to kill yourself when you have dark hair and light eyes. You think, "I must soldier on, for humanity." Yes, behind my insecurity lies a deep-rooted arrogance.

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