People need to put a positive spin on pain. "I went through this pain for a reason." "It all happens for a reason." "I had to go through all this to become the person I was meant to be." I can never get my head around this thinking. I wish I could. I'd love to impose an up-ending narrative on everything that's painful and tragic in the world.
I can't quite see that things happens for a reason. Nor can I get behind the idea that you are put through pain to become the person you were meant to be. Who pre-determines this person you were meant to be? And is this the same for every living thing? That mouse was eaten by the cat to become the gobbled-up rodent it was meant to be? But I guess the mouse did die for a reason. The cat was hungry.
What are these people even talking about when they say such platitudes?
You hear a lot of this talk in self-help-type workshops and groups. I know about this talk because well, I've gone to a lot of these things. And I like some of the wisdom and feelings shared.
But there are certain cliches that really get me. Such as this one I heard recently regarding suffering: "I think that we, at least we in the West, behave based on our suffering." What? We in the West? You can't speak for a whole hemisphere! So people in the East don't behave this way? And is this everyone in the East? So what you're describing applies to each of the billions of people in China AND Malaysia AND Pakistan AND Uzbekistan AND eastern Russia? And we, the West, does that include the Inuits or Native Hawaiians? And what about Africa? Do Africans behave this way, or only those places with Western influence? So just South Africa? Or not all of India, not, but the British-influenced India? By the West, are you just trying to say white people?
Or do you really mean the hemispheres? And does that mean there is a longitudinal line that delineates the East and West and the behavior changes once you've crossed that line? What if you have one foot in each hemisphere? Does half of you act out of your suffering?
Is this ridiculous-sounding dribble in line with the person you were meant to be? Instead of trying to explain that things happen for a "reason," why don't you instead start speaking with reason? That is what's really meant to be.