Press "1" for Non-Stupidity

Many are upset about immigrants who don't learn the English language. A woman I know is very upset about, particularly because she herself is a immigrant...from England! Yes, she had so such trouble learning the language! "When I came to this country, I spelled the word 'color' with a 'u'! It wasn't easy!' "When I swam across the Atlantic and landed on the Upper East Side, I put periods outside the quotation marks. But I learned!" "Should I demand to press '2' for Queen's English?!"